Why did the chicken cross the road?

MC CAIN: The chicken crossed the road because it realized the importance of crossing the isle to get things done. Or in this case the road.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time
for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOE BIDEN: I can't say for sure why that chicken is crossing the road, but I will say, that as soon as that chicken arrives on the other side I will personally take the lead to procesute that chicken for war crimes and any other poultry infractions I can think of, but this is not for vengence.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that
little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely
qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this
country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this
really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the
road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or
not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle
ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see
the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What
is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road,
I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled
about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain
against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the
road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road.
What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not
taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having
the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a
chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other
side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty!
You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that
chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell
my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave
me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not
been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we
will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart
warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went
on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing
roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not
only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash........reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did
the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?