All Things Work Together for Good

I had a little gift from above yesterday. For the past couple of years I would take my older son out now and then to chat about where he is, where he might be going, how we can work together to help him get there, and just shoot the breeze.

Usually it is pretty short and he is not too interested.

Yesterday we went out for coffee and talked for 2 hours. And he was the one that kept bringing things up. This article by Allison McKee was a great jumping off place.

I couldn't believe two hours had gone by.

I saw some things so clearly from our time together. Kids can change incredibly in a few months or years. You know how a toddler can be so different at age 13 months compared to 18 months. Well, if you have teens you also know they can, too. They can 'see' things at 17 that maybe they did not at 15 or 16. They are growing, maturing. All this work is happening on the inside that we can't see. I guess that is why we are told to just be patient... and pay attention.

We talked about options, what others have done through the teen years and beyond, his interests, things he would like to pursue and how I can help make that happen.
What he needs to do, what I need to do, what might be, and that we can't really know what will happen and that is ok. We have a pseudo plan, open to change which also will make Dad happier. The afternoon was a gift to me, a gift of encouragment from God I feel.

And it told me to stop listening to the voices out there. The parents pushing kids to college, or the ones who blame kids and don't push them. It is so easy to internalize. Or see kids who are not going anywhere and fear that is where you will be one day, not knowing what to do.

I feel the idea of 'paying attention' and keeping communication open is so important. And let them feel heard. And know you expect great things of them, and are on their side.

While I was spinning on the bike at the Y this morning my mind drifted back to when my son was 9. I was trying to get him to do math worksheets. This was a double whammy because both 'math' and 'worksheets' have never been a strength of his. I was so frustrated. I felt very strongly it was me against him. I had to make him do this.

It was then I first understood that this was wrong. I am ON his side. Yes, I expect great things of him, and it is his life to live, but I am his supporter, his facilitator, his cheerleader. It is not me *against* him. It is me *for* him, and being for him might mean many aspects of parenting, such as discipline, structure and correction. But it all works together for the good.

We are working together for the good.

The last analogy I thought of as I was huffing and puffing on the bike was my health goals. I have been working hard the past few months to get (back) in shape. Sometimes I would feel it is me against my body. Why is it still flabby? Why is the scale not going down? Dumb body!

But I realize that my body is simply reacting naturally to the stimlus it gets - execise and nutrition. It is part of me. I am part of it. Mind-Body-Spirit.
I felt a bit ill this week, so took some time off from exercising and today had a light workout. Instead of pushing myself, I listened to my body. We are working together now. Working together for good.

And, this all reminds me of how God works in our life. Ups, downs, successes, failures... he is in it all. He is in my son, my body, my workouts, my family the people I meet that challenge and irk me. It all works together for the good. If I can just keep that present in my mind.

LIfe Imitates Art..

...or vice versa?

Too Much Time on my Hands *NOT*

For proof that a SAHM's hours are well spent I looked around my kitchen the past few days. Yes, I have two teens, no I don't spend hours teaching them. No I don't have a job that takes me out of the house a lot. ( I have two or three smallish jobs that I mostly do from in the house.)

But, if I did any of the above things would I have time for THIS?




Our first cold front came in and I had a WHIM to make pumpkin muffins. Then I had a whim to give some to some dogsit clients and had a whim to decorate a bag for them. Too-busy people don't have time for WHIMS! And I am glad I do!!

OR THIS?


I painted this watercolor for my dh for our 20th anniversary as he just loved this dog which we bought together after we married. People who work 60 hours a week at high tech firms don't have time to create such masterpieces.. (BG)

OR THIS?

I bought too many eggs this week so decided to hardboil a batch. After writing HB about 4 times I thought, I can be more creative... so we have a fridge door full of smiles.

See what we are adding to the world in our non-productive ways?

Humm.... I feel like making a batch of homemade cookies. Eat your heart out, Hillary!!

Doggie Times

Ok, what to post about? This has been such doggie times for us I have to put up a few pictures. We are watching these two lovely Cocker Spaniels for 10 days. Abbey a 6 year old sweetie and Jordan who is 14 and so sweet. I told my family I want to be like Jordan when I am old. He can barely see and hear but is so sweet and kind and patient. That is a good goal!

Ok, following are some things overheard in the Kelly house the past week and then some random pictures. If you don't care much about dogs, you can skip this! But this is our house as of late.

All I need now are pictures of all the contractors giving quotes, doing work etc. lol

Do you think the Eastwoods would mind if we kept Abbey and Jordan?

Jordan, you are such a good boy.

Boomer, you are such a pig!

We need to get Jordan to teach Ralphie some manners.

Abbey is the most agreeable dog I have ever known.

Want to go Potty? Potty??

Come on, Jordan! Over here, Jordan! Come on Jordan!

(while waving arm in a semi circle to direct)

Come on doggies! Follow me!

(A trail fof 4 dogs ensues...)

Are you hungry? Come on, you can eat! Are you hungry?

(to Abbey and Jordan)

You are such pigs!

(to Boomer and Ralph)

Abbey, get the squirrel!!

Where is Jordan's bed?

(we move it to the room he wants to be in)

What is Abbey chewing? Oh Abbey!

Yes, there is enough room for Abbey on the couch.. come on up!

Abbey! Time for bed!

Who wants some puppy love?

(while sitting on the floor and soon am enveloped with 4 sweet canines)

Ralph!! Quit barking!!!

Where's Jordan? Oh in here. He is looking for us. We should train
Ralhpie to be his seeing and hearing eye-dog!

Some 'Advanced Strewing'

(Notice I placed this strategicly near his beloved LOTR book...)


I have what I call 'Advanced Strewing'... that works pretty well around here now and then!

What that means, is that sometimes instead of just 'strewing' (leaving things around for the boys to find), I will subtly or not so subtly encourage them to try them.

Of course sometimes I will flat out say:

"You need to read this.. you will love it!"
or
"This will be great for you to understand that part of history- give it a try."
or
"Oh, this book is great, I think you will like it."

In the case of the last one, it is completely up to them if they try it, but they usually do.
But, then also Mom gets a few other hints out without talking at all. :)




(Quasimoto recommending Mark Hart... lol)

Learning As I Go... Home Decor, Dahling

Hey, I think I really like my new blog title! We'll see how long it lasts..

Today I started learning something brand new.

My house needs help. I know, I know, as a homeschooler we have carte blanche not to decorate our homes because
a) we are SO busy
b) the kids will mess it up, and
c) the kids will mess it up.

Well, now that my boys are older I am running out of excuses. It is OK... Ok.. but there are some rooms I would really like to pull together. Nothing grand. I don't like homes that look like model homes.. but just pulled together.

My problem is I see a show on HGTV where they re-do a whole room on a shoe string. But... of course they don't count the cost of the designer or the 2 carpenters, or the shopper that finds the 'steals' at the rummage shops.

It is just little ol' me, and my shoestring. I don't have an HGTV army but would love one... especially that carpenter named Ty..... lol

So, today I called a designer I know that helped us some when we first moved in here and did a major redo on our kitchen and living room. I mean we had some equity and needed help. I remember her being a bit high priced, but it was kinda rolled in our home purchase.

Anyway I called her. She said her help was free if I bought $3000 of stuff from her store. Her store prices are HIGH. Nothing like you see on HGTV or over at Tuesday Morning.

So, I asked, what if you just help me pick color and come up with ideas.

"$100.00 an hour." she said.

"Gasp." I said.

"Ahem," she said as her cell phone crackled in the Houston heat.

She proceeded to tell me that some people have a gift for this, but most don't and I can save enough to pay her by avoiding just one mistake.

Now I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure my mistakes are not THAT big!

So, I thought to my little self, in the past 10 years, I have learned about history, programming, literature, politics, child development, philosophy, and the Great Catholic Faith... and much, much more from SCRATCH.... heavens, I can learn about decorating! Especially at that rate.

So, off to Half Price books with a sackful of old books to trade in. While the talleyed up my credit, I found a couple of great books on decorating.
One is a workbook. I mean this is step by step. You start off measuring the room and drawing out the floorplan and putting little cut-outs of your little paper furniture in place. The boys helped me measure today and we did that.

I also liked both books because they were encouraging. One said that decorating panache *is* a gift, but it can also be learned. And they said that if you get overwhelmed, just take baby steps. Start with one room. Or one corner.

Kind of like Martha Stewart meets Flylady.

I am starting with just one room, the family room Now this room is already 'ok'. The furniture is a nice color and only 8 years old. The carpet looks good (but smells a bit thanks to you know who...) but will do. The walls are fine. So I have a nice canvas on which to start.

One book said to really think about what you want in the space. Not just how it will look but how it will live.

I know what I want. I want this to be a happy space. To read. I want it to be accessable. This is little, but where I sit, the arm of the couch is high and I can't reach the too short side table when I sit there and try to reach over and pick up my glass of wine (or tea).

I want to have the stereo hooked up so we can listen to music, but in a nice space, not with cords everywhere. I want to have the room more pulled together, maybe some color.

If I get this going I will post before and after pictures. My camera is on the fritz so may be a while.

But, I like this. Once I began thinking in terms of a challenge to learn something new, it became less intimidating. Wish me luck! And I hope I enjoy this and don't get stressed out. That is also my goal.

Certain Things

I was recently reading a snippet online about a 'Rule of Six' a homeschooling mom came up with- the things she would like her dc to have in their life every day.

This got me to thinking. I really liked that idea as it kind of gathered up things for me. Scooped up the gems that often fall out of our day naturally. Those things, that when they happen, make it a good day. The kind of things, that when they happen more often than not, begin to build on each other and create the flow of happiness and family life that makes up this tapestry we have been living for years.

I started this thinking- "Ok, what things do I need to MAKE happen!?"

Hummm.... That is my old homeschooling-think. Let me re-set.

As I removed myself to my thinking spot, I tried to gain some perspective. Instead I began to think, what are those things that bring joy when they happen naturally, not as a list for me to check off. And they sometimes bring not immediate joy, but sometimes the joy that comes from living a certain way over time.

These are things I would like 'scooped up' and maybe even listed for me to remind me... so I can notice when they happen, and live life so they happen more often. Encourage it.

Let's see if it will be six things...

1) Grounded days with margin that allows connection and discussion. Boys having time to pursue and also me slowing down to connect with them.

2) Something new to think about- either the boys find or I suggest. Just to ponder, quietly perhaps, another new snippet of God's world not yet discovered.

3) Faith- either through a sacrament, prayer time, scripture reading, discussion together--- and/or private reading and prayer.

4) Laughter

5)Intellect- stretching ourselves, usually through discussion often brought about by a new idea (book/DVD/current event. This could be an offshoot of #2, or it could be discussing something we have known/followed for years.

6) Creativity- their projects and mine, sometimes shared and sometimes individually.

7) Friendships and the chance to give to others (physically, emotionally)

8) Connecting with God's creation- either nature or even as we understand how people behave, interact or create.


Oops, I am up to 8. :)

If a combination of these elements happen in a day, it is a good day. If they don't happen, then usually something is out of whack... but that is ok. Things ebb and flow. I find that these kind of days layered over the years are providing a rich life and learning lifestyle.

Re-reading the list, it reminds me a lot of what Charlotte Mason says.. to give children something to do, something to love and something to think about. I always liked that. ;)

What are the 'Certain Things' that make it a joyful day/month/year in your home?

Our Days...

Well, I wrote a response to a post Leonie made at UC about the Latin Centered Curriculum book she is reading, and decided it could be a blog post. So here it is! It is nice to have in my scrapbook/blog here. As I find I will go back and read this blog and rarely read UC archives. It gives a nice flavor of where we are now... and will be nice to read when things start changing, or to look back and see where we have been.

This got me thinking about my homeschool journey over the years and how I would read things early on and want to jump from one method to another thinking I might be missing something, or that one was best and I was on the wrong ship. (Leonie is not doing this... but I did) Then after dabbling all these years, it does start to come full circle, that I guess I gravitate toward a certain atmosphere or principles... and it ebbs and flows.

I think for us, interest led has become fairly dominate, but I still love the great ideas that are out there. They 'whys' of learning.... bringing in new ideas, but always encouraging the boys in what they find interesting.

It is funny, the boys are in the midst of learning how to do modifications to software code to create their own levels in a video game. B was showing me how and I saw all this geometry, cad cam work, logic, creativity... in fact I could not keep up, and I have always prized my ability for logic, etc. It is funny when your kids begin to pass you. While B was doing that, S was working on a novel he is writing in LOTR style.

The funny part (to me) was as I was checking in with them (as i have been busy with some projects of my own the past few days), I asked S what he was doing and he said, "Oh, I am being productive, I am doing ...... "

I liked that as they see they are being productive and stretching. But then I asked what they are reading, listening to, etc- as I had not seen much on that front...... so now B is starting Lillies of the Field, S listening to Peter Kreeft. So I find gentle reminders work pretty well here to nudge them in new areas. It is like I can sort of sense when they need that nudge? And boy can I sense when they don't.

I once heard Chris Davis from Elijah Co do a talk and they lived in the country. It was time for math. He called his son. No answer. He called again. Still no response.
He went outside and looked and far off in a pasture, his son was laying face up on the back of his horse, dreamily watching the sky.

Chris decided math could wait a bit. :)

Just some rambling. But your LCC sounds like something I would like in that I do love higher ideas. I like the Plato quote I read recently, that the goal of education is to bring us to higher things. St. Augustine took that as his motto. And he knew 'higher things' was God. But St. Terese also told us there is a "little way' to God. I think all of these things (video games and Latin) can bring us to God if we are involved with the dc and talking about it all and the context of how it fits in the world and in our love as a family.

Dr. Laura ---(don't throw tomatos yet...)

Oh, Dr. Laura, how do I synthesize my relationship with you succinctly? Ah, if you were here you would know the 5 right words to yell at me and would never let me say

"I don't know..." lol

Ok- I listened to Dr. Laura some in my past life and felt she was probably one of the smartest things on radio or in the media comparatively speaking. It is so bad out there, she was a relative voice of sanity.

But, she bugs me on a few issues (well she is not Catholic and doesn't see the whole picture, so that is just that), but she yells, uses some words I don't care for and has a bit of a shock factor that probably keeps her ratings up and keeps me away.

I have read/skimmed several of her books. I read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands a couple of years ago and need to devote a whole post to that. Just to summarize:

I think it was a book that needed to be written. I think the femimist movement (coupled with the sexual revolution) messed up a lot of young women, including me. So though the book seemed heavily weighted toward the woman's fault in
'messing up relationships', I think women are the ones who need the message the most.

But reading that book, I felt something was missing. I could not put my finger on it. I asked a few friends and we never came up with a satisfactory answer.

I picked up Woman Power, Dr. L's follow up to TPCAFOH at the library last week. It got closer. It helped explain why she wrote the first book and had exercises etc. I didn't feel called to fill them all out, but it added more to my thought process.

Now I am 3/4 through with her third book in the 'series', The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage.

This book in my not-so-lowly opinion nails it! I have been reading this book and so far have found very little I disagree with (other than her again use of rough words.. I know, I know she is trying to get the attention of a very rough society...she is writing for the mainstream, God bless her.)

This book may not touch others of you as is did me, but I feel it is a very important part of the puzzle/journey I have been on since my young adult-hood.. actually my teen-hood- well probably since my baby-hood, as it all starts at the beginning.

I had to learn to value being a wife and mother. I was raised the opposite way. I won't go into that whole story again as I have blogged it too many times already.

But I mention it in that I suspect others have been on that road, too. Maybe the readers of this blog don't have that as dominant in their lives as the mainstrem, but you never know. :)

This book talks about the gift and beauty of femiminity. Yes, you can be feminine in your workout clothes and kickboxing gloves. lol It is understanding the men and women are different. Men need nurturing. Women need protecting and a knight in shining armor. If I treat my man like a knight, he will treat me like a maiden, and Dr. Laura is right, I LOVE to be treated like a maiden!

Society has sold us a bill of goods, especially the femi-Nazis. Yes, I believe in the worth and intelligence of women. JPII (bless his soul) said that it is fine for women to work.. just so long as they have taken care of the family first. Family is first.

It can be a joy to love your family. To see the seeds you plant take root. To watch them blossom. And Dr. Laura is right. Men are simple. Not stupid, but simple. They just want love.

Ok, you can throw tomatoes now. :) But try this book if you don't like Dr. Laura.. and see what you think!

What I Did Today

**Warning! My list got really long! Don't read if you are all relaxed and enjoying life and this makes you think you have to go do something..I was surprised at all I did yesterday, but it was just a 'medium to heavy' kind of day. I am taking a new joy in keeping the house, and it was fun to make the list and know it all benefitted my family. :) **

I was just finished up laundry and thought I would make a post on what I did today. I realized I really did a lot. Lots was fun, some was work, all was a normal kind of day for me.

1. Got up.
2. Did my morning routine
3. Coffee and email
4. Workout at the Y- Kickboxing and 1/2 a strength class
5. Started laundry. Ended up doing 6 loads.
6. Did my Blessing Hour (ala flylady) But it took longer since I let my routines go a bit the past days. Changes all the bed sheets, dusted, swept kitchen, did windexing. Boys vacuumed the downstairs and did various chores as I directed.
7. Did 15 minute zone cleaning in kitchen.
8. Made a batch of my magic elixir....
9. Started crock pot dinner
10. Made various short order meals for my boys
11. Phone calls to make appointments
12. Watched the last of my art lectures.. sniff- sniff.. I need part one!
13. Took dogs for a walk seperately as they drive me crazy tangling leashes. This was not good. Ralphie was balistic when I left with Boomer even though he just had his own walk! During walk I brainstormed how to make my patio pretty.
14. Talked to oldest about options for confirmation
15. Had a 30 min conversation with company about the teen version of Jeff Cavins Bible study.
16. Took a short snooze while watching art DVD
17. Talked to dh on phone as he was driving home from Dallas.
18. Drew schematic of patio to try and come up with a design to make it a happy place. I may put picture on my blog to get ideas from you smart people!
19. Did some blogging, list reading, etc.
20. Googled patio design and some other interests.
21.Checked in on the news, got depressed and turned it off.
22.Thanked God for my day. :)


I am tired.. I didn't realize I had done so much and probably forgot something!
Oh, yes, I talked to the boys during the day, but they were pretty occupied with their stuff, too.

Hope you all had a good day.

Our 24th Anniversary Celebration

My dh's company had superb timing in giving him a little award for doing some sort of "SAP software application customer management in the right time frame" or SOMETHING and anyway treated us to a free dinner wherever we wanted, just send them the bill. :)

So he researched and found this place: The Lexington Grille.
John worked with a guy whose parents are Houston Old School (and Old Money..) and know all the best resturants intimately. This is one of their absolute favorites. Look at the site.. so tasteful, and intimate.. it is in an old house, converted to a resturant. There are only 11 tables in the whole place, that I could count.

The service was superb! I told John I would rather not eat out all year but then go twice to a place like this. Little touches- the owner is out checking on customers, the waiter will scrape up your crumbs between courses (I did feel a bit sloppy!), he knows how to open and pour wine correctly (John and I both waited tables in college so know the proper ettiqute), the coffee cups were preheated and kept it nice and warm while we lingered over our dessert.

Everything was perfect! Ok.. the food. Here is what we had:

We both had the Caeser salad. I love salad, especailly Caeser and this dressing was very flavorful but not too overdone.

For entrees, I had:

Beef tenderloin grilled to perfection served with sauteed mushrooms in a creamy gorgonzola port wine sauce

John had:

Rack of lamb roasted to your specifications served with a rich burgundy demi-glace

We shared a dessert- a chocolate mousse that was perfect, something you would see Emeril make on Food Network.

Candlelight, beautiful surroundings, great food and the bill was picked up by his work. What a great evening!

We talked about all sorts of things, and one was how to celebrate our 25th anniversary coming up next year. John said he would like to take 2 weeks and go to Ireland, (his homeland) with the boys. That sounded wonderful. We also thought about Italy. We would love to see Rome and the Vatican as well as everything else Italy has to offer. We shall see.

I felt very lucky last night!

Thoughts on Atmosphere

A friend, Trudy, on my local Charlotte Mason list recently posted about atmosphere in her home. She kindly allowed me to put it here.

Enjoy!

"CM talked the the atmosphere in many terms. One was trust- openess and sharing."

With that in mind, I will add "sharing" to our list of atmosphere enhancers. We have always made a point to listen to our children, to let them vent what's on their mind. We have lots of conversations where we are all just sharing whatever is going on in our lives, not always heavy stuff.


We have four children, ages 18, 13, 6, and almost 4. We take each one out individually either for a walk; a fun date at the park, movie, or dinner; or to run errands almost every week, sometimes every other week. The children take turns. It's mostly my husband who takes them out this regularly. I will usually get alone with each child outside the home maybe once a month or every other month because it's harder for me to get away with all of the home duties that need to be done. It's a great way to get to know that child personally, to know their heart, what's important to them, their dreams, their fears. It's not easy taking out this much time and there are weeks where it doesn't happen but we look for every opportunity that we can to make it happen.


When the children feel loved and understood and feel a close bond within the family, that's the foundation to the atmosphere. Then we add the beautiful music, art, nature, reading great books together, gardening, sewing, woodworking, living life together to complete the picture. Oh, how I would love to have grown up in that type of rich soil. How much more I could have blossomed. Just think about the significance of this gift we are giving to our children.

I also think that our outlook on life and our attitudes effect our atmosphere. Are our thoughts positive or negative? Do we bring others down or build them up with our attitudes, our words, our facial expressions? Are we moody? Do we complain or nag? Do we criticize or encourage? Being positive and encouraging are fantastic atmosphere enhancers.

As an afterthought to this whole atmosphere discussion is our relationship with our husbands. We should work on that one. Because if the children sense tension between mom and dad or have to hear arguments or there is just a lack of love and respect in the husband/wife relationship, I think that really spoils the atmosphere and makes it really difficult for all of these other things that we try to do make much of difference because everyone is too upset to enjoy them. If any of you are in the midst of trying to improve your marriage, I would like to suggest the book "Created To Be His Help Meet" by Debbie Pearl. It has changed a lot of marriages.

And last but not least, a part of that foundation and atmosphere is their knowledge of the living God and working on building a relationship with Christ.

Those last three things, just coming from a stable, loving, positive, and encouraging home and having the Word of God being an integral part of their daily lives will do so much for the atmosphere. Then our children are free to blossom and become all that God meant for them to become. I'm not suggesting that we not strive for academic excellence, but isn't this so much important than our academic pursuits for them?


If any of you have wisdom you would like to bless us with, please do. Can anyone expound on any of the atmosphere enhancers that I have mentioned to make it a little more practical for us? What do you do in your home? It's great when we can learn from one another.

I just thought of another thing we have in our home. I set up a 6-foot
folding table and put a plastic table cloth on it. Next to it I have some
stacked plastic drawyers with paints, Play-Doh, construction paper, glue,
scissors, crayons, etc. Since this is a permanently setup, the children are
free to paint or do any other form of art whenever they want to. So I was
thinking this might be considered an atmosphere enhancer because it is an
atmosphere where they are free to create, basically, a creative atmosphere.

Other ideas for a creative atmosphere are Tinker Toys; PVC pipes cut into
different sizes along with the things that join them together -- they have
those over at the Children's Museum at The Woodlands Mall -- old appliances
where the cord has been cut off and any sharp inward parts removed once it's
opened for them to take apart, explore, and try to put back together; wood,
hammer, and nails. Does anyone have any other suggestions along these
creative atmosphere/environment lines?