Our Teens' Paths

I have been thinking reading (again) lately about our children's, specifically our teen's paths. How much do we help 'steer', how do we help them find their way?

The solution when I was a kid was that children followed a set course, i.e. school.

The marker was grades.
The goal was high SAT/ACTs and college.
The ultimate goal was a good paying career.

I am thankful I have come to an understanding as a parent that there are larger goals. "Heaven Not Harvard", as one dear homeschool mom says. I mean, it could be *both* Heaven and Harvard, but it would be so if that was where God wanted the child. So, still, no set formula. Lots of prayer and uncertainty-- Ah I love parenting! :-)

In focusing on helping my dc find their strengths and interests and spending my time encouraging and facilitating those, I see they have had time to discover this in themselves and have a sense of self. I hope the sense of God's purpose follows, too. I told my son the other day that he is already way ahead of me in that- I never considered or understood God had a purpose for me until I was well into my 30s! So even if he has no clue what it is right now, he knows it exists. God's hand is firmly in our lives.

On the UC list recently we have been talking about when dc waft. Otherwise known as 'lulls'... or not behaving in a way where we can see schooly learning or really anything.

I have read a lot on this in the past and believe this is not only not BAD but it is necessary. John Holt, Charlotte Mason and now Plato (of which I am reading right now) understood that a child needs time to think, process and let the inputs of the world come together in his mind. John Taylor Gatto expresses this in Dumbing Us Down as he talks about traditional schools and all the 'bells' and 'no place to hide'.

Our kids have a place to 'hide' and I think that is one of the most precious gifts we can give them. I love to hide when I need to, then emerge and embrace the world when it is time. St. Francis of Asissi knew this, too. He said to be able to go out into the world and do your work, you much have time in prayer and solitute to recharge, reconnect with God.

Also in my reading about Intorvert/Extroverts and personality types, I see it over and over- we must know ourselves and nurture ourselves and recharge. And connect with God.

But moms often worry about wafting and drifing... it is difficult as the world tells you 'action' is good. Gosh we see that with adults all the time. BUSY is a badge of honor. Busy can be good, too, but lulls are not seen as productive.

Maybe it is about learning to see the value in the lulls. And recognizing when someone might need help moving back to the world. Humm...

Last night I read a few more things that helped my perspective. On Joyce Fetterolls site Joyfully Rejoycing- I found again that, wow. this site is a great antidote for the unschooling jitters...

Joyce talked about what causes kids to become addicted- really another form of 'dropping out' - Bad Wafting. Some mom asked about TV. Joyce says if a child is 'addicted' to something it is not the 'something' that is causing it. It is the unhappy child. Why are they unhappy? Most probably because they are not understood, listened to and connected with. If you have a child that recieves that then the drifting/wafting will probably be a healthy thing, not a lack of connection or 'running from life'.

This gave me a lot to think about and some comfort. Though there is not a definitive *answer*.

I also re-read most of Allison McKee's From Homeschool to College and Work. In addressing what best prepares a child for college she said the MOST important thing (in her opinion) is they become an expert in something. Anything. Her son's passion was fly fishing. It is amazing to read about him and all the facets of life he learned from the tying, researching, etc he did.

But, Allison said, if they see your child loved something enough to learn and live it, the powers that be (college admissions and the like) will know how to reserach and learn any subject. This is why they LOVE unschoolers. Again we are on the cutting edge, friends, as we venture into the future. How much of the past can we let go of? lol

Again, as Joyce writes, it is like letting go of the side of the pool in the deep end. Where are my floaties?

I am of course influened by my past and experience, in that I was so prepared for 'school' I could have probably gotten a degree in any subject. Maybe without passion, but I could have by sheer momentum.. :) I wonder what it is like to not have the schooly background, but to have passion. How would one apply themselves to life? What keeps them going if they are not focused on artificial goals?

I am trying to explain to my sons the balance of the artificial goals (the 'tickets' of grades, classes, etc to get them to the 'next level') and the passion goals. It is going to be fun to see where my boys head. They are ready; that is what I hear from all the sane voices. I kind of wish I had had the same background as they do, the base from which to start. No preconceptions, no 'one path'... and lots of passion.

Ok.. gotta let go of the sides. :)

Quote from a frustrated writer-

As my oldest is working on his Bravewriter Expository Essay course.....

"I read Tolkien and discuss on blogs, what do they expect?"

This is as he tries to condense his usual verbose and generous writing down to concise essay form, on a subject for which he is passionate. Wow, what an exercise for him! I wonder where he gets the 'verbose' writing gene? lol

Some 'Advanced Strewing'

(Notice I placed this strategicly near his beloved LOTR book...)


I have what I call 'Advanced Strewing'... that works pretty well around here now and then!

What that means, is that sometimes instead of just 'strewing' (leaving things around for the boys to find), I will subtly or not so subtly encourage them to try them.

Of course sometimes I will flat out say:

"You need to read this.. you will love it!"
or
"This will be great for you to understand that part of history- give it a try."
or
"Oh, this book is great, I think you will like it."

In the case of the last one, it is completely up to them if they try it, but they usually do.
But, then also Mom gets a few other hints out without talking at all. :)




(Quasimoto recommending Mark Hart... lol)

How We Homeschool **ATM**

This topic is one that I think will always be on the front burner to most of us, and I know it is for me. It ebbs and flows. Sometimes I feel very comfortable with what we are doing, then at times I will step back and re-evaluate. What are we doing? Does it fit us? Does it fit us *now*?

Maria has a lovely post on how her family came to unschool. She also talks about the definition of unschooling. She also references one of my favorite blog posts by Melissa Wiley about Tidal Homeschooling.

Well worth the read and I enjoy reading it again now and then.

My boys, being 13 and 16 and very practical and a bit cynical don't even really care for the label of 'homeschooler', much less 'unschooler'. This kind of surprised me when it first popped up a couple of years ago, especially since they LOVE being home and are eternally grateful our family discovered homeschooling. (Yes, I remind them of this constantly and the selfless sacrifice Mom is making for them..lol)

But seriously, I can see it what they are getting at, even if they could not articulate it. They were in a way the canary in the coal mine for me, detecting the artificiality of labels.

I know I have been on a mini-quest in search of a label for a few years. When I was immersed in Charlotte Mason it was a very nice fit and I found like-minded people very easily. Something that is very, very helpful, especially for a newer homeschooling mom.

But, I think the boys have seen various stereotypes develop with homeschooling. And, as we know, most stereotypes spring from a seed of truth. They saw some overly rigid (to their tastes) families doing things that were not 'them'. So they began to reject the homeschool label. Yes we homeschool, but it is really a negative definition. We learn, we just don't learn in school. I think maybe what we do, is how John Holt tried to define unschooling when he first coined the phrase years ago.

In an article in Life Learning magazine, Pat Feranga talked about John Holt and his life and vision. He said that Mr. Holt coined the phrase 'unschooling' to give a name to what families were doing at home with their children while all the other kids were in school from 9am to 3pm. They were NOT schooling in the sense the government schools were.

I think my boys may have seen that were were not only NOT schooling like gov't schools, but we were also NOT homeschooling like a lot of other homeschool families. And that is ok. Because other homeschool families also have their style. But as much as I was drawn *to* a label, my boys seem to have been repelled from one.

So, we have developed our own style. No, not really a style, I think it is a life. I am actually glad to try and drop the labels, though they are handy. I like Melissa's coinage of the term Tidal Homeschooling. I like it because I think that is where I am most comfortable, too.

She does a wonderful job digging into the role of parents. That we can set the stage, strew the treasure, provide guidance. She talks about 'leaving our children to their own devices' and how that plays into it, positively and negatively.

I see that though my boys don't want formal study, they do want direction, though they won't come out and ask. I think they like to know that even though this education is *theirs*, which we have often talked about, that someone older and with more experience has a hand on the rudder.

That plays very well into my personality, too, as I love to learn. And research. And explore new ideas and share.

This was much easier when they were little. I look at Melissa and Maria's blogs, as well as others, and remember the days where the boys were little and loved most everything I suggested! A trip to the museum.. yes! A science project.. fun! A new read-aloud... terrific! Now that they are older they are less willing to jump on mom's bandwagon, and of course I am dealing with almost-adults here, so have adjusted.

I know their interests, which do get narrowed as one gets older. So I try to pick and choose and bring them things that will help broaden them, but also fit their styles. It is harder, but also more rewarding in some ways, in that I am learning higher level material, often adult level and that, I enjoy.

We have been in a season where I have primarily encouraged them in their own interests, but I think (like Melissa's tide) we are coming back to me introducing more. Much of it is me- where I am, what I am doing, what mode I am in.

I wonder, how much of our children's learning and experience is really based on the whim or personality of the mom. I think a lot. But I also think that there are many ways for a child to learn and succeed in life and each mom is a gift. And a mom in research mode is a gift... but then so is the mom who lets the tide ebb and we all just live for a while. Maybe that is why God made women so emotional, so the children could see it, and buoy up and down with the tides... (as long as we don't let them PMS moon terrorize the house! I have learned on those days, just to be very, very quiet... lol)

I used to think that it was ALL up to me. If I didn't get all my school ducks in a row, I failed. Then as we relaxed more, I saw the real learning going on in low tides of introduction of material, but that were often very high tides of learning. I would not give that part up for anything, that is the REAL learning that we all can experience.

But, now I am realizing even more that we are complex creatures (especially women) and our changes and ups and downs are a gift. We are not machines, life is not perfect and what better lesson for our kids. Consistency is not the high prize. That is biggest asset of schools. Love is the prize. Connections. Real parenting. And that is why unschooling is NOT unparenting.

Well, to conclude this ramble, I wanted to put in a quote from the Life Learning Magazine. This is Pat Faranga talking about John Holt and how he changed his ideas and philosophies as he experienced more and learned more. It told me that it is ok to learn and grow and change how we do things. Because we learn a better way does not mean we blew it doing it the old way. And we can change again. It is OK. :)

The revisions to his earlier books reflect this growth in thinking. As his ideas developed he didn't excise his previous thoughts, he built on them....for instance, he drew a line down the side and said," He's the other John Holt: I thought that was a good idea at the time but now the older John Holt knows this to be the case." He didn't need to protect his position by erasing his former thoughts and writings like so many writers do. And the subtext of that is that he was proving by example that people can continue to learn.

Lord of the Lillies....?

My 13yo son was amazed when he saw the Lillies of the Field paperback I suggested he try.

"Wow, it is so.... small!"

He held it up and peered at the edge of the book, a mere 124 pages. Next to it he hefted our Houghton Mifflin edition of all three LOTR books bound together.

The lillies paled in comparion.

"And there are so few words on each page!" He exclaimed.

I think he is going to finish it within 24 hours. Well, it IS a fable. But there is a lot of power packed in those few words. :)

Our Days...

Well, I wrote a response to a post Leonie made at UC about the Latin Centered Curriculum book she is reading, and decided it could be a blog post. So here it is! It is nice to have in my scrapbook/blog here. As I find I will go back and read this blog and rarely read UC archives. It gives a nice flavor of where we are now... and will be nice to read when things start changing, or to look back and see where we have been.

This got me thinking about my homeschool journey over the years and how I would read things early on and want to jump from one method to another thinking I might be missing something, or that one was best and I was on the wrong ship. (Leonie is not doing this... but I did) Then after dabbling all these years, it does start to come full circle, that I guess I gravitate toward a certain atmosphere or principles... and it ebbs and flows.

I think for us, interest led has become fairly dominate, but I still love the great ideas that are out there. They 'whys' of learning.... bringing in new ideas, but always encouraging the boys in what they find interesting.

It is funny, the boys are in the midst of learning how to do modifications to software code to create their own levels in a video game. B was showing me how and I saw all this geometry, cad cam work, logic, creativity... in fact I could not keep up, and I have always prized my ability for logic, etc. It is funny when your kids begin to pass you. While B was doing that, S was working on a novel he is writing in LOTR style.

The funny part (to me) was as I was checking in with them (as i have been busy with some projects of my own the past few days), I asked S what he was doing and he said, "Oh, I am being productive, I am doing ...... "

I liked that as they see they are being productive and stretching. But then I asked what they are reading, listening to, etc- as I had not seen much on that front...... so now B is starting Lillies of the Field, S listening to Peter Kreeft. So I find gentle reminders work pretty well here to nudge them in new areas. It is like I can sort of sense when they need that nudge? And boy can I sense when they don't.

I once heard Chris Davis from Elijah Co do a talk and they lived in the country. It was time for math. He called his son. No answer. He called again. Still no response.
He went outside and looked and far off in a pasture, his son was laying face up on the back of his horse, dreamily watching the sky.

Chris decided math could wait a bit. :)

Just some rambling. But your LCC sounds like something I would like in that I do love higher ideas. I like the Plato quote I read recently, that the goal of education is to bring us to higher things. St. Augustine took that as his motto. And he knew 'higher things' was God. But St. Terese also told us there is a "little way' to God. I think all of these things (video games and Latin) can bring us to God if we are involved with the dc and talking about it all and the context of how it fits in the world and in our love as a family.

Impressionism Course.. fun!

I think I found my all time favorite DVD set from the Teaching Company.
I perused my library's collection and found this.

It is called From Monet to Van Gogh: A History of Impressionism.

I must admit the professor looked a bit boring when I first began to watch. But he is so passionate and knowledgeable about the subject that I was soon hooked. He uses lots of pictures, of course and I was enthralled.

We have done art study over the years, ala Cm and I am so glad I did as I felt many of the paintings were old friends. We had done some short bios, too, of the painters, just dabbling. But now with this indepth analysis-- of the painting, the painters, the times-- socially, politcally-- it was so neat!

I loved how he would discect a picture. I never really appreciated that before, but this time it was so intriguing. I found myself often wondering if the artist would agree with his analysis or just say "I just painted a picture! Lay off!" lol

But I got to where when he put up a new picture I would hit pause and look at it myself and guess what he might say. That is really what I used to do with art study when the boys were little per CM. Let them look before you ever say a thing. Let them form their own connection with the painting. It is true for adults, too.

I really see how the idea of nibbling a bit here and there at a subject, then coming back to it later on (as we have with trips to museums, etc).. and then when one is ready really delving in.. makes sense. Who said that? Cm? Others? Probably just about everybody.

The only problem is when I order from the library they can't control what part I get. So, I have watched Part 2. So I still get to watch Part 1. Yippee! I talked to the librarian today and she said I just have to call her everytime I want to order them so I get the parts in order.

I highly recommend this if you have it available. Note- there are some nudes presented so if you have dc with you, you may want to preview. But actually watching this, and seeing his commentary I see how the nude is very important in art, or at least to some artists and genres.

This is something that qualifies for making my heart sing. It must as I watched 12 lectures in 2 days.... where does all my time go? lol

My Personal Education...

This is the picture I was looking for when I found 'The Eye'...lol

This is my watching my Teaching Company DVDs with the dogs on the couch with a glass of tea. Ah! Beats the classroom!

Gosh I shoulda had a pedicure first!

The Dem's Turn

Anyone going to watch the democrats duke it out tonight on CNN?

Click here for details.

I watched the republicans debate with the boys last month and it generated quite a bit of discussion. I asked B (13) if he was going to watch the dems tonight. He didn't think so.

Why?

"Well, if there is one I think I would vote for, I might, but there isn't so I wont."

I told him he can't just go by what I say, maybe I am wrong and there is a candidate out there he needs to know about.


"Well, if any are for the issues in the Catholic Voter's Guide non-negotiable list, I will consider it. Let me know if there are. Otherwise I have other things to do and may or may not watch."

Well, he is right. Though I still think it is a good way to learn about the candidate, what makes them tick, how CNN presents the debate (always good for Media Analysis credits...) and how they can 'support' their positions.

By the way, we had trouble finding many republicans who met the non-negotiables list, either. Here it is if you are interested:
Catholic Voter Guide

I ordered a bunch of really nice pamplet guides from Lighthouse and displayed them at my parish. If anyone wants some for your parish, let me know and I will order them next time I otder. They are $13.50 per 50.

Well, I bet the boys watch a bit of the debate tonight... just out of curiousity! We enjoy seeing the people, then googling them to see what they say they believe. Sometimes that is a bit hard to nail down... part of the fun!

**UPDATE**

Ok. Marie, you and Bryan were right. This was a real bust.
They had nothing to say. Mrs. Clinton couldn't seem to answer any question constructivly, but just critisize and often rather personally, the current administration.

None of the candidates seem to have any 'weight' to them. Joe Biden got mad and started yelling once to make a point.. guess he thought he was on Hardball.

Gov Richardson kept trying to get a word in, but couldn't seem to.

Wolf Blitzer who moderated kept losing control and for some reason kept trying to get the candidate to all 'raise their hands' if they agreed with a statement. It made them look like schoolchildren, and Mrs. C got snippy about it.

The most professional one there, who was the best spoken and seemed to have the most substance was Obama. And I thought he would be the lightweight. Of course I agree with few of his positions.

Oh well.

I agree it is very early, but I enjoyed the republican debate because it introduced me to some players I had not know about before, in particular Brownback from Kansas who is Catholic and I think has a prolife position all the way. Plus I really wanted to hear Rudy try and explain his pro-death abortion stance.

Ok.. no more politics for while.

After 20 minutes I switched to TCM and The Wizard of Oz was on! It was much more poignant and relevant to my life. :)

"If I only had a brain....!" I love that song!

Interesting Quote

This from The Teaching Company catalog:

Most of the important things that a human being ought to know cannot be comprehended in youth.

- Robert Hutchings
Professor- The University of Chicago.

Don't know if that is totally true as children learn about love, family, faith, God... and lots of other connections. But I have found that a lot of things I am learning are things that my more mature mind can get around now, which it probably would have been able to do before I reached 30 or so...:)

To Google or Not To Google- I love research!

This makes me rethink my Internet habits. :(

I have not worried too much about the dangers of the Internet as my family is pretty well informed, and I am very thankful I have risk adverse dc who do not surf or talk to strangers on the web.

But, it is a big part of our lives, well, especially me. I love to research and always have. Like many, I will just 'goggle' something I am curious about as a course of my day. Notice Google is not just a proper noun, but a verb. :)

For example- I picked an audio book off the library shelf last week called A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemmingway. I have not read a lot of his work so decided to give it a shot. It turned out to be his memoirs while he was a young, upcoming, poor writer in Paris in the 1920s.

In it he talked a lot about his relationship with Gertrude Stein (google) and F. Scott Fitzgerald. (google). Both are very interesting characters. Poor Scott died at age 44 from acute alcoholism and much of Hemmingway's personal insights were confirmed by the anonymous Google writer.

I learned about Scott and his wife Zelda and found some Nintendo trivia my boys did not know! The Legend of Zelda video games were named after Scott wife, Zelda. She was a piece of work- a 20's flapper to the hilt, was jealous of Scott's writing and lured him to party, he who could not handle even one drink. She died early, too in an asylum.

But, I learned more than gossip, I learned about the times, the 20's post WWI, about the "Lost Generation" as Gertrude Stein put it. I really enjoy reading a book, fiction or biographical, the doing a little research. Even if the Internet is not 100% reliable, it is a start and very accessible.

But, scan the article I linked if you have time. That bothers me how these new things that are 'accessible' can end up being negative. It reminds me of Brave New World. Oh well. God is in control! (Back to joy...)

Natural Learning and Self Study- Civil War

I didn't care a whit about history growing up- or even into my adult life.

As I began homeschooling the boys 10 years ago I slowly began to like history. Mostly from the historical fiction books we would read. Then as I started to get a world view of history I saw for the first time how it all fit together. How God was involved in it all. It was a revelation of sorts when I finally understood some about the Greek and Roman worlds, Christ, then the middle ages, reformation, role of the Church, etc. All fascinating.

But, I never really got *into* it, like a hobby or mini-obsession, but I think I am on the verge now with the US Civil War.

It started withThe Civil War- a Film by Ken Burns

It is an excellent DVD set. Since I have read and am re-reading The Killer Angels by Michael Sharra.
It is about the Battle of Gettysburg, the turning point of the war.

I am actually listening to it on tape. Gen George Schwarzkopf proclaimed this the best war novel he has ever read. Sharra brings these people to life. I am sure he had to take some artistic license (to write about what Lee was thinking as he stepped out of his tent), but he did a wonderful job.

I listened to it the first time and could not get a grip on the logistics, the geography, the battles and the importance of certain events. So the second time around, I found a book at the libraryGreat Battles of the Civil War by John MacDonald.

As I listened to Killer Angels the second time around, I referenced the few maps in that book as well as the Great Battles book. In the GB, I saw pictures of the key players described, as well as computer generated pictures of the Gettysburg battles and tactics.

I never thought I would be interested in the Civil War. It has so much depth, battles are just one facet. There are the people, the struggles, the personalities, the economics and politics- so much.

I am seeing what a true self-study is. I think my boys are seeing me take it on, too, and it frees them up to do the same with this subject or others. I believe more and more that a big part in a learning environment is to model, and not just for show sake, but to become passionate about something I truly am interested in and let the house (or whatever else) go for a while. I truly think one of my jobs is to learn myself if I want the boys to value learning.

In the meantime my dh has been talking history to my deaf ears for 20 years. Imagine how surprised he is to keep finding me with new videos and books on the Civil War.. lol

Tonight I watched a 30 minute video about the war and realized that in the past month of so of study I had learned 80% of what was in that video. It was a general overview of key points and events only, but I was familiar with them. Honestly, as the narrator would begin to speak on the next site highlighted on the map, I knew what he was going to say! And I would have had no idea in October. Too cool! I love learning and I think often I didn't value it enough for me, mom. :)
Too busy schoolin' those kids!

Now off to bed to curl up with my audio book and big book 'o maps.

C.S. Lewis, Dr. Markos, Me, My Kids, Unschooling, The Knowledge Party... etc.

Stream of consciousness post ahead.. no conclusions.. just thinking out loud...


I have spent the last 4-5 days listening to Dr. Markos' lectures on C.S. Lewis. I am also reading his book straight through for the first time.

My mind is filled with CSL's life. Right now I am at that place in both the lectures and the books, where Markos is describing CSL's early influences, his relationships, his learning.

Unschooling. The thread it keeps bringing to the surface is that we can trust our children to seek knowledge. To learn by living, exploring, finding their unique path. I won't to into the skeptisms. I'm sure most readers know them.

I have seen all that learning happen in my home. That is why I have hung in there with the whole premise. My manta over the years has been 'What about content ? How do I bring it in?" Or at least my main mantra. I have others, but that has been the one I have spent the most time on and bothered my friends about the most. You know who you are.

I have seen the learning. I see the subtlley of it. I see organization, logical thinking, skills (you name 'em' they picked them up). I salute John Holt. The man was RIGHT.

Now to CSL. I am watching his journey. It was not a picture perfect childhood. God had his hand in it. So, that lets us perfectionist parents off the hook. Our mistakes can be God's openings.

How did CSL learn? I don't hear a lot about his lessons or classes. I hear about the relationships in his childhood. (good and bad). One of his primary good ones was with his brother, Warnie. During WWII, the family moved out to a rambling country house, Little Lea, which was like a Narnia to the Lewis boys. They spent hours in imagination games. This lay the groundwork for much of CSL's later work, including the Chronicles of Narnia. This history has a special place in my heart because I see a lot of strong parelells between the Lewis brothers and my boys.

Then boarding school. He detested it. He focused on his books. To escape. But again, the influces I hear about in his life are not the subjects he studied, but his passions. Norse mythology. Not to say the lessons were not beneifcial, but the strong influences that formed CSL into the man he became were through his passions, his life experiences (good and bad) and his relationships.

There is a list of books he savored as a child. As I read through them I realized the boys and I had done a lot of them as read alouds. Yes. My influence is important. I spent a lot of time with Charlotte Mason groups/reading and found these great books. But we loved them. It was not an assignment but a time of fun and adventure. But I did choose the books. This, to me is the unschooling I accept. Me as researcher, mom, nuturer, influencer... but allowing the children to make the connections. If we didn't like a book, we put it aside.
But how cool that we read most of the same books as little Jack Lewis? :)

What about when his father finally let him leave boarding school and have a private tutor, Kirkpatrick. The man was very influencial in his life. He was a atheiset, but taught Lewis to think, reason, analyize, lay out an arguement, which made him into the great apologist he was.

What if he had never had a great influencer. Where would he have gone?

Now- as parents can we give our children that kind of influence. If we are not relying on lessons/curriculum/scope and sequence, or even mandantory reads, then where will our children go?

I am finding my role is that of student. The more I investigate and learn the more it is at my fingertips to share.

What do I share? How do I share?

What do they do when I'm busy learning, researching, blogging... and they are on their own?

They are constantly in motion---- mentally. They alwayss have projects going. We are always intersecting. They will come up and have learned something and I had no idea where it came from.

Perhaps I can scatter seeds to them as they continue on their learning/living wheel.

I like learning about our roots. All the stuff I have been putting in my Knowledge Party posts. I can give them that gift. I can read passages aloud, things that strike me. Thing I know they would like (for eg when Markos talks about how much Lewis was influenced by Tolkein). There is an essay of Tolkein Markos recommends called On Fairie Stories. I ordered it up for my 15yos as he is writing a LOTR type story now.

Those are things I can do.

To me these sort of things always sounded small. When I would compare them to the GREAT things I see others doing, or read about.... the classical works, the long book lists, etc. Having the kids do written narrations, critical analysis, etc.

I am just spreading seeds.

Just?

No, I am doing more. I think a key compoent here is the element of conversation. And relationship of course, which is implied in a good conversation. Some conversations are short, some long. Some are natural- I read something, get excited and share. Just a moment ago in the kitchen B was picking up a tuna sandwich and heading upstairs I shared a bit of my CD. He will remember, too. His memory is awesome.. sometimes he remembers too much. (mom laughing here)

Some conversations are deeper. The car is a great place for those. The conversations on the move have been long and engaging. Sometimes it is me just saying: "Hey, get over here, I want you to see this. Why, because I'm your mom and I said so."

Are they missing the boat by not being assigned projects, books, narrations and reports. I just can't see it. They are doing projects, books, narration and reports in one way or another on their own. They are just of their own choosing.

And, if I plant seeds now of other greater things (greater in my estimation) they can pick up and run with them now, in 5 years or in 25 years.

Again, no matter how Lewis' life was managed for him, he always took his own path eventaully. His boarding school was heavey on hazing, athletics, jocks and rugby. He hated it all. It did influence him into spending a lot of time thinking and later writing about the ugliness of the 'inner circle' which contributed greatly to his Christian insights. But no one could force him to absorb it and make it his own.

Can we then really force our children to absorb and make any 'knowledge' we choose their own?

And isn't there more chance of that happening if we offer it palatabily? The the most appealing way to explore something is to see someone else enjoying it. Think Tom Sawyer.

Maybe my time IS better spent researching, learning, sharing, strewing, planting seeds and knowing my kids. Sharing me. Me is different than any other mom. So my gifts will be different than my friends. God has taken that into account.

Sometimes I thinkI am planning this education and am in charge. But what they take away from it, I will really have little control over. Their minds belong to them. They hopefully will see that Mom had interests, shared them, respected theirs own interests and loved and supported them. Ditto for Dad.

What if I was a mom who had no interests? I don't know, I never have been. What about when I had little ones? Humm. I had less time, but thinking back, I made time to read. I had to. I was beginning homeschooling and lost. That was my study then. Time not wasted.

No time is wasted. Focusing on virtues. If they can see those in dh and me, then they are learning more than most of the human race. And learn about our humaness, too.

all for now...

God Bless,
Cindy