All Things Work Together for Good

I had a little gift from above yesterday. For the past couple of years I would take my older son out now and then to chat about where he is, where he might be going, how we can work together to help him get there, and just shoot the breeze.

Usually it is pretty short and he is not too interested.

Yesterday we went out for coffee and talked for 2 hours. And he was the one that kept bringing things up. This article by Allison McKee was a great jumping off place.

I couldn't believe two hours had gone by.

I saw some things so clearly from our time together. Kids can change incredibly in a few months or years. You know how a toddler can be so different at age 13 months compared to 18 months. Well, if you have teens you also know they can, too. They can 'see' things at 17 that maybe they did not at 15 or 16. They are growing, maturing. All this work is happening on the inside that we can't see. I guess that is why we are told to just be patient... and pay attention.

We talked about options, what others have done through the teen years and beyond, his interests, things he would like to pursue and how I can help make that happen.
What he needs to do, what I need to do, what might be, and that we can't really know what will happen and that is ok. We have a pseudo plan, open to change which also will make Dad happier. The afternoon was a gift to me, a gift of encouragment from God I feel.

And it told me to stop listening to the voices out there. The parents pushing kids to college, or the ones who blame kids and don't push them. It is so easy to internalize. Or see kids who are not going anywhere and fear that is where you will be one day, not knowing what to do.

I feel the idea of 'paying attention' and keeping communication open is so important. And let them feel heard. And know you expect great things of them, and are on their side.

While I was spinning on the bike at the Y this morning my mind drifted back to when my son was 9. I was trying to get him to do math worksheets. This was a double whammy because both 'math' and 'worksheets' have never been a strength of his. I was so frustrated. I felt very strongly it was me against him. I had to make him do this.

It was then I first understood that this was wrong. I am ON his side. Yes, I expect great things of him, and it is his life to live, but I am his supporter, his facilitator, his cheerleader. It is not me *against* him. It is me *for* him, and being for him might mean many aspects of parenting, such as discipline, structure and correction. But it all works together for the good.

We are working together for the good.

The last analogy I thought of as I was huffing and puffing on the bike was my health goals. I have been working hard the past few months to get (back) in shape. Sometimes I would feel it is me against my body. Why is it still flabby? Why is the scale not going down? Dumb body!

But I realize that my body is simply reacting naturally to the stimlus it gets - execise and nutrition. It is part of me. I am part of it. Mind-Body-Spirit.
I felt a bit ill this week, so took some time off from exercising and today had a light workout. Instead of pushing myself, I listened to my body. We are working together now. Working together for good.

And, this all reminds me of how God works in our life. Ups, downs, successes, failures... he is in it all. He is in my son, my body, my workouts, my family the people I meet that challenge and irk me. It all works together for the good. If I can just keep that present in my mind.