How to Really Love Your Teenager

Good morning from *almost cool* Houston!

As I took my older, slightly waddling dog out for his morning business in the front yard this early morning I was greeted by the absence of heat.. which by default in Houston means it is *almost* cool! Ah... could we be in store for an early fall?

The title of this entry is one of my favorite books. The author is Ross Campbell. I found it for a quarter on a used book store shelf years ago. I recommend it all the time and quote it sometimes and need to just re-read it more. I think the principles in this book apply to all ages of children, but it is just in the teen years that things are so concentrated, that we might have a dc who needs the attentiona and space, love and space, understanding and space, empathy and space..... more than other ages of people might. And a person of the 'teen' age is also dealing with all those growing up things that God gave them, such as hormones, emotions and needing to separate but still being a child.

See, again I am paraphrasing Ross Campbell and need to go re-read the book.

I have always kept my dc pretty much private on this and my Dogdays blogs. In the beginning it was because blogs were new and I was concerned about privacy. But as I have learned about them and watched many e-friends create blogs, I have felt more comfortable. Seen their safety (mom is always at the keyboard and watching her chicks no matter their age)--- but my darling boys (and they *are* darling) have always preferred privacy, and I respect that.

But I do enjoy seeing everyone else's kids.

On a topic such as this, I will not get too personal either. Would I have wanted my mom chattily typing online about me, my hormones and my behavior when I was 13? Or 16? ... Humm... or 47? Well, I can't picture my mom on a blog, so that point is moot. But still gives me pause.

However, my youngest is 12, turning 13 in October and has always been old for his age. Old in thought process, enjoying his brother and that ages friends (3 years older) and very logical. He is also a lot of fun. From the time he was born he was happy. He has tow-head blonde hair and a smile that is like sunshine. That sounds corny, but from the time he was a baby, he would smile and smile and it looked like golden sunshine.

He is also the type who likes to discuss- I say 'argue' but not in a mean way. He wants to know the reason for things. Like when he was 7 and scared of the dentist. The usual pediatric dentist who would ply kids with baby-talk, stuffed animals and bubble gum flavored tricks played no dice with him.

It was very tough. Finally I found a wonderful woman dentist who spent many hours of her childhood in a dentist chair and knows what a pain (literally) it can be. B age 7, hopped in, scared, would not open his mouth. He hopped up on his knees and looked at all the equjpment, especially that tray with all the instruments. You could tell he was not going to sit back and relax until he had his questions answered. She began to explain things to him. He wanted to know about everything-- each drill, each pick, each needle.

She explained it all: before during and after.

Then, he was fine.

So now this happy, intelligent, logical, knowledge-seeking kid is entering the transition years. I hate to even call them the 'teen' years and it implies so much in the world today I do not care to embrace. (like excused bad behavior). But it is just those years when our little children begin to transition to adults.

So, here is my sweet, sunshine smiling tow-headed boy. My baby. And I see it coming. I want to give him the space he needs, but also *be there*. I know what Mr. Campbell says to do. Keep my emotional tank filled, so that when his is running low, or he is bouncing between being 2 and 21 I can have an even keel.

I don't see the bouncing moodiness so much with B. I see more that he is not going to want to tolerate anything that is fake or silly. He wants answers. He outstripped me at least 3 times in logic as we troublshot my computer's ills yesterday. He is always ahead of me. He is a quick thinker. He knows a lot. And he knows he knows a lot. This will be our journey.

Boy, do I love that kid.

God Bless,
Cindy