What is really real- and the peace it gives

Today at Mass the scripture was from John 6.

My husband had gone to an earlier Mass where our pastor gave the homily. As the boys and I were getting shoes tied to go to the 11am Mass, he told us some of what Fr. N had to say.

Father had expressed great dismay at how anyone could ever leave the Catholic Church once they knew what the Eucharist was. In John 6, Jesus gives a hard teaching. Drink my blood and eat my flesh or you will not have life. You WILL NOT have life. Many left.

Peter said he would not leave. Where else would he go? Jesus had the words of eternal truth.

As my husband talked, I could imagine Fr. N animating this to the large crowd.

The boys and I went to our Mass, and it was not Fr. N, but Fr. J (also new to our parish) Fr. J is very intent and quiet but hold great reverence for the Mass. He is from India and a bit hard to understand, but we take that as our privilege- to get in sync with his speech patterns and listen to his heart.

After Father spoke his homily, I thought about this blog. Authenticity. About the friends I have on this journey. About homeschooling. How this path- parenthood, homeschooling, unschooling... knowing our children, knowing me has brought me to find what is real.

And the complete essence of what is real is encountered in the Eucharist.

Jesus suffered, died, offered his life and body in the realest sense for us. Knowing that deeply filled me with a complete sense of peace. Peace and thankfulness and and overwhelming feeling I cannot explain.

As communion began I thought about life. How this really is the essence. I thought about how our new bishop said last year that all the problems in Houston and SE Texas, problems in and out of the Church can be solved by attention to just one thing: The Eucharist. I felt I saw a small piece more of what he meant.

As I thought about my life, I wished that all of it could be filled with the grounding and peace I was feeling at that moment with the reception of the Eucharist. I saw my life (and others' around me) as the building of castles or block houses. I felt like I spend time deciding which castle to build. Maybe work on a schedule for the boys. Research and plan things to read and study. Get involved in a ministry or organize a book club. Get involved at TORCH. Or create art and crafts or work around the house. Spend time on my blog and/or read and comment lots on others'.

Most of these things are good things. But they are just things. I thought about how often the thing becomes me. Or I become the thing. When humility fails then I forget my grounding. Or, I might have it along with me, but I have to be careful. What is it I am doing all these things for? They are not separate from the Eucharist. They are often outpouring of it. But they can all topple down. But that is OK, because the grounding is still there.

Putting my trust in Christ will take us to the right place on this journey. And my kids, too.

I am really glad I am reading LOTR now. My friend asked me where the Christian connection was in the book. It didn't seem obvious to her. I thought, too, it is not super-obvious, such as the Aslan-Christ connection in Narnia.

But yesterday I read the part, then saw the movie scene, where Gandalf told Frodo that even though there was much evil around and he was weary, that there were good forces at work. A greater force wanted him to carry that ring.

I am seeing connections everywhere now as I read LOTR. They are not obvious, but they are real. As I read about the troubled world they faced in that fictional world, I think of the world JRRT was facing during WWII in Europe. Then I think about the scary world situations we are facing today. And I know that we have the ultimate good force on our side. We can trust and know we can make it through Moria or anywhere else if we keep close to our faith.

I wonder how I would homeschool without faith. Gosh, at times it is hard enough with it. Especially unschooling seems to put so much trust in Mom and then putting trust soley in the kids. I like that idea- of trusting the kids- mostly because it is a concept that has been so absent in the worlds of education and parenting. When I falter and worry, I am unconnected to my faith and my children.

Step one: Look at what my children are doing.
Step two: Trust that God will guide me and be open to his word.

Ok, maybe I should reverse that order.

Well, I know that a big part of growing in my faith life is to make connecting in prayer a more natural and frequent part of my daily life. I have a long way to go. I hope this post didn't sound preachy. It is hard to get across concepts sometimes that strike so deeply. There are so many wonderful reflections out there today, written by religious and saints. I am not one of them.. but still on this journey. And it does not dull day to day. It keeps revealing new things.