More Than Just Singing

Here is a post that, to me, really gets into real life... an experience Willa has while singing with her daughter. I enjoy Willa's writing (as I do many of my efriends)- She can seem to get emotions and thoughts down that often just seem to flitter in my mind searching for expression. :)

Click Here for Willa's Post


But, here, she describes an everyday experience with her daughter that ends up being more. I think many of the experiences I have with my boys *are* more, too. Part of this whole thing for me is learning to see it. Seeing that value. And this goes hand-in-hand with not substituting real life and learning and experience with artificial structure or assignments.

This post added to some thinking I have done lately about not only what my boys are doing and learning (only part of which could be caputred in a journal, even if I wrote hours a day), but also what I do when I feel lacking.

Why do I feel lacking? What is it that I am *expecting* to see? Why do I sometimes feel adrift, as if I should be doing something more than I am? Maybe I am doing all I should and so are the boys, but I just am so trained to look for surface results that I cannot see it the deeper things. I want to drop the scales from my eyes.

Willa's post is a reminder and also charts new territory to help me see deeper. If I can begin to do this regularly, then the rewards will be great. I have already seen some rewards as I have worked on this path the past years.

I will bullet some of them....
-Better relationships with my boys
- Real connections and learning for them
-Real connections and learning for me
-Less stress (as I give up programs that don't work for us)
-Less stress (as I give up those programs, then angst with what is 'replacing' them, then slowly begin to natrually see what is is, that daily learning they do through interests and interaction)
-Increased relationship between boys and Dad as they begin to share 'real' interests

and so on.

I am working hard on this, understanding this real learning, this unschooly apporach because I want these years to count. I don't want to look back when they are grown and see that I kept resorting to artificial learning (defined to me as anything that does not suit their temperment and learning style) or that I did let go and follow their lead but was constantly worried. Either way will be chalked up as a lot of wasted energy. I want to savor, to enjoy, to work hard, play, and seize the day! And relax and enjoy what God has given us.

But that is taking work on my part, I think in a large part to still de-program my way of thinking about learning. I had many, many years of school, from a very young age that drilled in my brain the traditional method of learning. It is hard to let that go.. and really internalize something new.

I asked my Clonlara advisor today - how will my dh ever understand this to the degree I am? I read, discuss, study, talk with friends, soul search and pray about this way of learning. The blogging is really my 'written narration' (ala Cm) to a degree of what I am learning, internalizing and articulating back. It is a big part of my vocation now. This is taking me YEARS! How can he ever understand this if he never reads a book or website?

She said (paraphrased): "He has an incredible advantage you don't. He will *see* it in his family. He gets the immersion course.. you had the self study. Think about this in terms of learning a launguage. Which way is easier? You had seek it out, discern, search, then internalize it while rarely seeing it modeled. He gets to live it. He gets to see it unfold in front of his eyes."

Wow.

God Bless- and go read Willa's post!

Cindy