Just What Is it I Do All Day?

I sat down today and thought about what it is I do all day.

I am at a crossroads, I know I am. My youngest is not young anymore. I can vividly remember the days when every hour and minute was driven by the needs of the children. Babies, toddlers, dependent young sons who needed help with most every task. And wanted to share all their adventures. And when I wasn't helping or sharing I was cleaning up the wake. My hours were pretty much laid out for me, set by naptimes, eating times and sleeping times. I big challenge I had was to find a little Me time, to keep my battery charged and ensure my best was given to the family.

God has dealt with me gently. I can remember a couple of milestones he snuck in on me when I was least expecting. Such as that time upstairs going through a box of old homeschool stuff to find the workbook my son has filled out in a childish hand 10 years before. I had to cry for a while. Or, when they lost interest in read alouds. Or when the voices got lower and they became taller than me.

But, He is guiding me gently and also helping me to see the beauty in the boys who are growing into men. I really like being around them. I am so thankful he is letting me see this and we don't have a combative relationship. Oh, this is getting off topic.

So, I have these boys who are getting more and more independent. I have more time. But, my time is always filled. How did that happen? I am blogging and reading email lists, which I had none of when they boys were 10 and under. I still am not sure how moms with lots o' little ones find time to email and blog, but of course I would have done it, too if the Internet had been invented then... because it can be such a blessing.

I also have done more outside support work and now am doing Lighthouse. I found as the boys got older and older I slowly began to do more outside, such as a season of leading a Charlotte Mason group, organizing a co-op, etc. It is like water level.. it finds the right level... keeping the balance is important and it changes over the years.

So, I began to wonder where I am spending my time now. To a large degree this was brought on by a feeling I have been having that I am not doing 'what I am supposed to be doing." Does anyone ever have that feeling? I think it is more prevalent in a non-traditional format because gone is that satisfaction of checking off to-do lists. The only time that same level of satisfaction comes is when I journal and recap what we *did*.

But, I find I have so many hats now, that I am never sure which one I am supposed to be wearing.

So, this is what I did:

I sat down and thought about all the things I do in a week. A 'normal' week. Yes, I know there is no such things, but pegs have developed...

Then I thought about how many hours I spend doing each thing. This was not in order to condemn myself for not spending time the way I should.

But just to see...

Some of the things that came up on my list:

Mass
Working out (travel, dress, shower included)
Prep, eat and clean up meals
Bills/insurance
Cleaning
Email
Blogging (write and read)
Spend time with boys
errands, grocery shopping
talking on phone
etc.

I won't put my hours on here, but I bet you will find it pretty easy to get a talley for your week.
Then I took the number of hours in a week(168) and subtracted how many I need of sleep (66)to get my net available waking hours. When I compared that against how I spend my time, I found that my activities filled my time! (Can you tell I used to be in Finance?) lol

This exercise really gave me a sense of enlightment. More than I thought it would. I knew some areas where I spent too much time. I also was happy to see a lot of areas of time well spent.

But mostly it gave me a sense that what I am doing is good, it is my vocation and the things I fill my day with are worthwhile.

I did find that I do little for me.. still! I know you moms with little ones are thinking I am such a nerd, that Me time is so precious. But that is just it. When I have free time, I am not SURE where to spend it so I am not doing what I am doing. "Do what you are doing." Karen Andreola said, and she is right.

When I am paying the bills, I think I should be doing something with the boys. When I am straightening the house, I am thinking about the laundry, etc. So I never feel I am 'off duty' to spend time following my interests. That sounds strange, but I guess part of me always feels I should be doing something that will eventually help the boys.

And the strange thing is, they can tell. They like it *better* when I have my own true things. I know just how they feel. I felt the same at that age and knew when an adult did things just to try and get me interested. Humm.

Don't tell me to get a schedule. :/ I have read lots of great books, gleaned a ton of ideas and been on endless schedules. But I find that I need more than a schedule. A little box on Monday telling me to pay bills will almost guarantee I won't. I am responsible, but I have not found that balance of serendipity and structure.

So after my epiphany, I came up with a simple plan.

I have my pegs. Those are written in.They flow naturally. My mornings are taken with either Mass or workouts and I know what time I will be showered and ready to move on. Monday is grocery shopping, boys do coupons, unload the car-- Thursdays we all go to Mass, etc. Some days have a flow already determined.

I have a list of things I need to do most weeks. I wrote in how much time I need to give each.
-Insurance/bills- 1 hour
- LCM work 3 hours
-housecleaning 4 hours
-research homeschool ideas/books 2 hours

etc.

I put that list in a page protector and know that during the week I need to hit those items. In the past I would put them off. Last month I missed paying a bill on time. It will take me 3 dogsit visits to pay that late fee. ARGH!

So, during the week, I work on them as the time/inclination hits. Then, on days when the boys are plugged in, we do those things and ignore the rest.

If we are invited out, we go. We shift the have-tos to another day.

This may not work for all, but it is seeming to for me.

For me, I need to "Do What I Am Doing". And know that if we are playing now, the other stuff will get done later.

It also told me that the 3 hours I spend researching neat ideas for us on the Internet is time well spent.

And the 4 hours I allowed myself to answer email and blog is also therapeutic and informational.

And the hour on the couch, reading my journal, seeing where I was last year and how I have grown was priceless.

And, the time I spent looking through recipes and thinking about upcoming holidays is part of my job. A fun, but also very important part.

Oops.. I just made 6 blog posts in one day. I am way over quota! Oh well.. it will all even out in the end. All is not lost. :-)