More Letting Go- Our LOTR group

I have been doing some faith reading that again draws me back to the realization of letting go and letting life happen.

I saw this play out for me again in our homelife and learning. I honestly think that is what homeschooling is really about. The relationships, that dance... where we try to raise our kids, but often that means we have to step back and let them be and become.

Remember our LOTR discussion group? Well the first week was gangbusters with about a dozen people, lots of talking. It prompted the B&N customer service lady to complemement me on the level and intensity of discussion.

I did get some feedback from my sons and another dc who said it was hard at times to get a work in edgewise. I was lucky enough to have two other moms there who love LOTR. I really enjoyed the idea that we moms were not really 'teaching' or 'leading' but were there as participants, too. Though one mom in particular is really awesome to have as she is practically a LOTR scholar.

But, I know what I did. Everytime there was a lag I would jump in and move it on. I wanted it to be 'successful'. So it was very talky. But often people were talking over people, some topics were not discussed through and the quieter people could not get their two bits in.

Well, the second meeting we only had about 7 kids. I was the only mom. My LOTR reading has been lagging (I have so much I am reading now), so am only halfway through the second book.

The meeting lagged. I had prepared nothing, based on how lively the first meeting was. I found myself getting anxious. Like I had to make this happen. Or that the kids would tell their moms that I was not leading a good meeting. I felt it was a failure.

Sigh. Why do we say things like that to ourselves?

Well, the boy who had not cared for the first meeting, loved the second one. He had had time to talk!

After the first meetings I realized that though I really like LOTR, I am not at the level of any of the others in the group. Moms or kids. I can't remember all the characters much less the battles. My opinions are limited to really the first book, and even then I forget major stuff. How was I going to make this work if I could not even think up good discussion questions?


I dicussed this with my sons.

My 13yos son suggested I not sit in until I had read the books. He earnestly suggested that I read 30 min a day until I was done. Now, this is irony. How many books did I try and assign him over the years? I did not like the idea of someone telling me what to read. But I did like the idea of making the plan for myself. My boys set up a reading plan for LOTR last summer to get it done by S's birthday. Lots to think about here....:)

Then he said, "Mom, we really don't need you in the group. Why don't you go get coffee and read until you catch up?" I know my son likes my company, so this was not a 'get away from Mom' thing. What it was was a "we can handle it" thing. All natrually. This is all evolving naturally.

I let go. I had them write some discussion questions and we emailed them out to the group prior to the last meeting. At the meeting, they began talking and I went and got coffee for my sons and myself. I did listen, and got some of what they were talking about, but much went over my head. I did find a great Bassett Hound calender to look at on a table nearby.

A MAJOR spoiler was revealed, and everyone looked at me with wide eyes. I shrugged it off. I know it will not mean much when I get back to the books. I was enjoying watching the discussion too much to worry about spoilers.

I learned that I do not have to guide everything. We can have ups and downs. My job really is not one of teacher. It is to come alongside. Sometimes my job is just to get the coffee.