I Can't Look!

My youngest had his 14th birthday at the first of the month. One thing I have been consistant on here is the boys writing thank you notes. Now, there are millions of other things I have NOT been consistant on.. and don't be too impressed, they haven't had parties (not wanted them) since they were very young, so the thank you notes usually total 5 or 6, for gifts from relatives.

Their first notes were very short. I ordered some cute inexpensive personalized thank you notes with their names on the front and they would write a few sentences inside. But they had to have the 'forumla' ---a formula I think is important as it is about manners.

Something along these lines:

-Thank you for the gift.
Inquire about the person's life/health/happiness.
-Describe some goings on that would interest the person.
-Thank them again.
-Sign name.

As I have read various things over the years, I think this is pretty iron clad and really it is about making the gift giver feel thanked and appreciated.

As the boys got older, they asked (begged) me to let them type the letters. They caught onto typing fast and are now really quick.

At first I didn't relent. Oh, grandparents love to see the handwriting.

Finally after couple of years I did relent. Ok, you can type it, but the letter has to be MUCH longer. Like at least a couple of paragraphs.

The first few years the cry was: "What do I write about?"

Every time, I would stop and sit and say, let's think. What have you been doing that you think _______ might like to hear? Uncle Tad would like to know about your computer games. Grandma will be interested in your writing class, etc.

"But what do I ask about them?"
Well, what has Papa been up to lately? Ask him about that. Or what is important to him now? Ask him about that.

Sometimes the letters got a bit, well, tangented.. I will say, especially during the ages of 14-15 when the self absorbtion factor and cynical humor was high.

"Write to your audience." I would say, as Bravewriter says. Uncle Tad might like the joke, but would 80ish Baba Grandma?

The boys have done pretty well, but I have always reviewed the letters, just in case.

Well, this time Bryan was writing his letters (my task-oriented 'git 'er done' guy and was trying to finish up. I was busy.

He came in and told me they were done. I was hanging drapes and vacuuing walls and had my 'very busy' face on.

"Oh?" I said. "How did they come out?"

"Well... I guess they are kind of short. What should I-"

I looked at him, and he knew I was going to put my vacuum wand down and 'help' him brainstorm what to say.

"Never mind, I know."

He left. I didnt' see him again. Next thing I knew they were in the mail truck.

Oops. I thought to myself. I didn't even see them much less proof them. Our relatives love the boys and are not super picky, but with 2 grandparents in ill health, I especially want the boys to be sensitive. They have a great sense of humor, but age 14... well the 88yo grandparent might not get it all.

So.. today I looked. Bryan had saved the letters on Word (in fact we have 6 years of thank you notes there) ... and I pulled them up.

They were great. Ah, who's worried?

To me this just one more way that God helps us let go. He makes us too busy at just the right time.

Here is Bryan's letter to my brother and his wife:

October 17, 2007

Dear Uncle Tad and Aunt Gina,

Thanks very much for the money. It’s always I helpful gift and I really appreciate it. How’s it going? Having a good fall? Not too much has been going on around here, except a lot of little repairs being done on the house. In fact, there are multiple people working on the house as I write this. Our air conditioner broke down for the downstairs, so they’re working on that now, as well as painting the new doors on our office. I look forward to seeing you at Thanksgiving. Well, thanks again for the gift.

Love,